Growing up in the 70’s I saw the family unit as a place to find shelter, comfort, good and nourishing food and solace from the outside world. Our mother never ate till everyone in her small yellow kitchen had their fill. The kitchen table was the center of our lives. With a freshly ironed tablecloth it was where we sat down as a family for Sunday dinner. It was where all homework was done with a cold glass of milk and a few cookies. Unfortunately it was also the place where your report card was read by your father while you stood by his chair and waited for his approval or disapproval. It was where you found Mom to talk about your life and the place where she sat you straight when you messed up.

Sadly there is something missing from our families now. Mom has now been replaced by a woman that is stretched into too many directions. Her demands at work and her need to succeed are followed closely by her anxiety and guilt of not always being there for her children. Many professionals now state that even with the modern mother having to reach these limits our children are actually thriving. Statistics tell us different. More children then ever are in therapy or on medications for behavioral problems. More children then ever suffer from neglect, abuse and abandonment. The development of grandparents taking over the role of parenting and care giving has taken a steady raise in recent years.

The family table now sits in dust while the family rarely eats at the same time and conversation dwindles into saying hello and goodbye at the front door. There is a way to rectify this and all it takes is a little change on the parent’s part.

Children need guidelines at home. Simply said there should be rules to your home that must be followed or obeyed. No matter what they say a child wants to know that he is not in total control of your home. They want to feel secure in the knowledge that their guardian is in control of their surroundings.

Make time for meals. The most important clues you will get about what’s happening in your child’s life will be revealed at the kitchen table. Set the mood with good and nourishing food and let the conversation begin. I have never met a child that didn’t want to have someone just listen to them. Your time is what a child really wants. Give it to them and watch them thrive.

Let your child know that home is where they will and should feel safe. No matter what happens to their outside world home is where they will find the peace and unity they need. A homelife where they will find unconditional love and support and laughter.

A close family starts with one person willing to give of her or his time and devotion. This person or couple must be willing to become the caretaker of the family unit. The person or couple that will set the standards that your children will come to respect, follow and appreciate. If you do these small things you will see a big difference in your family life. It’s never too late to start. Gather your family tonight at the kitchen table.