The Love of Sports

I had the chance to speak to both my sons on a three way phone call this morning and the topic of basketball came up. My oldest son Adam is a Varsity Basketball Coach and is just starting his Junior High basketball season. My youngest son Jeremy is an elementary teacher. In fact the honorable profession of teaching runs in my family since all my children are teachers. Adam had the chance to play his bench (for those of you who don't understand basketball that is the players who don't get to see much playing time). Last night's game was a huge win so he was able to get his bench out there and give them the chance to shine. I know how much that meant to these players and their parents because I have been there. I have been a Basketball Mom for a very very long time. Waking up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning to get your child to practice and running out side a basketball game at half time to see how much snow had fallen is just a few of the obstacles that sport parents have to put up with. Why do we do it, you ask? The payback. Sports give back much more then we give. It gives children structure, limit's and teaches children that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This philosophy follows them into their other classes. A child that succeeds at sports carries an air of confidence about them. It helps them to challenge themselves and open up to learning. It brings discipline to their lives. Many school athletes have little to no structure in their home life or they get tangled up in bad friendships that can lead to trouble. Sports gives them the structure they can thrive on. Burning up those bundles of energy is also a way of releasing stress and tension in a positive way. If you don' believe me take away recess on a group of 4Th graders and see what you have by the end of the day! There is so much about this topic I would like to discuss. One is how to deal with the child who loses, or even cost his team the game. Nothing you can say will help ease your child's feelings about his own self worth. You first have to give him some breathing room so he can sort out his feelings. You can then approach him and try to focus on what he did right and ways he could correct what he did wrong. In sports, basketball in particular the mind can easily trip up the feet. I've seen it happen so many times. The winning team makes a few mistakes and just like that they couldn't shoot a basket if their lives depended on it. They let their mind interfere with what their body already knows. I'm going to close with this thought... Keep your child in sports, music or chess, whatever they show an interest in and don't be afraid to try and introduce them to new projects. My youngest son never knew the extent of his talents till he pushed himself in cross country and golf. Help them to open new doors. You never know where a hidden talent is lurking. Help your child to achieve, be their cheerleader in everything they do. Knowing you are always there rooting them on will give them the confidence to do more, making them a well adjusted child. Thinking back on my own childhood I'd like to add a few memories that many of you will remember fondly; Finding the best place to hide in Hide and Seek and running as fast as you can back to the tree before you were tagged. Filling a mason jar full of fire flies and then putting it under your bed that night and waking up in the middle of the night to see the ceiling blink off and on as the lightening bugs escaped the jar. How cool was that?? Having the milk man come to the door on Saturday morning and tell your mom that ice cream sandwiches were on sale today, Oh boy were those the days! Slipping into line dried sheets at the end of a day. Bounce can't compare to the smell of wind and sunshine. If you were born in the 50's and 60's you lived a wonderful simple life. Try to recreate some of that life for your children and grandchildren. When they are grown they will thank you for it. Till next time... the time you invest in your child's life is like money in the bank, the payoff will be great!

The Wall Of Honor

Pat and Audie Married March 17, 1994 (15 Years) Beverly and Robert Married May 1975 (34 years)
Aunt Onie and Larry Married April 18, 1974 (35 years)
Marriage is a sacred commitment. You pledge to one another in the sight of God and all your family and friends that you will honor this person as your mate. You will be there thorough both your trails and lean on each other no matter what comes. Good or bad you will not fail each other. No where in the vows does it say you can never make mistakes because we all do. Try as we might we lose sight of what is important. Our own wants and needs sometimes get in the way of putting our spouse first. Too many times we feel like our spouse just isn't the person we married so many years ago and their not. We are constantly changing and growing. The trick is to do it together. I have met couples married over 50 years that say they have never spent a night a part. As for me a brief break from one another makes us closer and appreciate each other more. We are not supposed to grow in any ones shadow but to work toward a solid marriage where both can grow and flourish. Marriage is not an easy commitment to hold and honor but the longer you are married the stronger that commitment grows and respect is one thing that age and time teaches us. Couples who hold their marriages together and honor their union should be respected for it. My mother and father were married just 25 years but their marriage lasted a life time. This is a passage my mother wrote and I would like to share it with you. She was a very wise and wonderful woman.
Sayings
By Velma Hart Hable
I am beholding to no man except our father who art in heaven.
My thoughts are my own and I shall strive to keep them so.
My whims are as the wind untamed, uncommitted and unpredictable.
Many problems can be settled over the kitchen table with a kiss and a cup of coffee.
The art of loving is turning a peach into pear.
Tamed physically is certainly an allowed feature.
Tamed mentally is something an individual should never allow.
We are born into this world without asking.
We must learn to live with ourselves before asking someone to live with us.
No man can live and die under one name without involving the world.
If we are so perfect, how in the world can we love someone beneath us.

So here's to your marriage, may it grow daily and bring you both contentment, security and above all else love. Aunt Onie

Lets Get Cooking!!

Food, glorious food! There so much to choose from. From soups to entrees nothing says home like something bubbling on the stove. I like to surprise my family with "special night" foods. It may be Super Tuesday or omgosh I made it to Friday!!!! Either way it's nice to proclaim this day with your family is special. How you pull it off depends on your imagination. I get all my dinner theme material from the Dollar Tree. You can really set the mood with just a few dollars! From Taco night where everyone gets to dress out their own tacos to hamburger and milk shake nights with homemade french fries. My all time favorite is appetiser night where the whole meal is a vast array of appetizers. There are so many ways to make family dinners fun and enjoyable. Remember what you do with your kids will forever be remembered by them and often passed down to their children. You are setting standards and tradition. America needs to get back to tradition. With fall coming on strong today would be a good day for Vegetable soup with peanut butter and syrup sandwiches.
Here is my recipe:
I usually start with the left overs from a pot roast. This is perfect because you already have the potatoes and carrots and beef broth already to be cubed up in bite size pieces. Once cubed put them in a soup pot over medium heat. Add a can of carrots or fresh, (can takes less time)green beans, and 2 cans of diced tomatoes, add niblet corn if you like and any other vegetable. It's all about your families preference. My sister Patti likes cabbage in hers, I don't. After adding all the veggies I add a large cup of water to make plenty of broth. Let this all simmer several hours and the smell will be wonderful, not to mention how good it is for your family. Now take a large soup bowl and put at least 4 tablespoons of peanut butter and pour about a 1/4 of a cup of syrup and stir till smooth. It should be spreadable. Now make sandwiches with it. When your family comes together for this meal you'll get no complaining. This is the type of meal that nourishes the body and soul. Enjoy an may the traditions you start this year be cherished and remembered by your great grand children. Life is precious so don't waste a drop of it!!!! Aunt Onie

Hopes and Dreams

Hello Readers,
I know I have been talking a lot about children and I think I will focus today's topic on the foundation of the family (Mom and Dad). Not to get into religion right now I must insert this one thing. God is the foundation on which my family is built. If Mom and Dad want to build a strong foundation for their family to thrive on they must be supported by our Father. A marriage is tested time and time again and I couldn't comprehend how one could stay together if it wasn't for God. If a husband and wife can pray together there is not one thing that can tear them apart. Enough said about that. I'd like to tell you that my marriage has a very good communication system. We love talking together, sharing our hopes and dreams of the future. You don't even have to have the same dream and desires but it helps. To have a goal to work for and dream about the future units a couple. It's something that they share together that is only theirs. Many couples start out their married life with little or no money. Hopes and dreams are all they have to see them through the rough times. In my whole 35 years of marriage (to the same man!) I have seen many of our friends and sister's and brother's marriages go through some of the hardest times possible and I can tell you that most of them withstood the storm. Some have went through the hardest thing a Mom and Dad should never have to go through and that is the death of a child. But I can tell you that through the grace of God and one day at a time they are coming out of it and they are closer then ever. Through their despair they never shut loved ones and friends out. Instead they let them in and have learned to lean on their family and friends. Infidelity is a hard one. It takes a strong couple to over come this and I can say I've seen it work. It takes a strong spouse to forgive and continue on and it can take even a stronger spouse to forgive themselves. Take it from me it's not worth anything that threatens the trust between a husband and wife and I have no sympathy for anyone who tries to come between a husband and wife! So many people don't have any respect for a married couple commitment and that's a shame. We should honor their commitment especially if it involves the lives of children. My belief is that every child deserves a happy home. I did not say wealthy homes, I mean hot meals, clean house, and parents that will love, nurture and protect them. That's not asking too much, don't you think? You may not have had a great childhood yourself but that should never stop you from giving one to your child. It just takes a little work and commitment on your part. For those of you who are single I would like to say take your time in picking your spouse. Get to know them, inside and out, their wants, desires and dreams. So many people make their marriage decisions too quickly. That's because they don't realize that this will be a lifetime commitment. I'd like to end this post on a lighter note. Marriage is like the Wizard of Oz, get to know the man behind the curtain before you buy into the whole Emerald City dream. Till next time may your dreams you share bring you closer together.... Aunt Onie

Hunt and Gather Time

Ah Fall, My favorite time of year. Mother earth is full and ripe and ready to be picked and harvested before a long cold winter. The leaves rustle and pumpkins show up at the marketplace and apples turn bright red. Enough already, it's fall. My husband and I have lived in the same house we built 28 years ago. My bedroom door has every ones (children and now grandchildren)growth chart carved forever in it's center. If I ever move the door goes too. I live down the street from a little vegetable market where you can get everything from vegetable plants in the spring and mums and pumpkins in the fall. I love bartering with the owner who really is a great guy even though he loves giving me a hard time. In the end we usually part ways with a smile (me with a big old pumpkin and him with my cash). This is the time of year that when my children were small I would have carmel apples waiting for them when they got off the bus, or when I had the time warm homemade bread fresh from the oven. I always tried to have something special for them at least once a week. As soon as they hit the door they knew to put their books away and wash their hands and it was a short sit down and have a little something to eat and tell me about their day. Getting them to talk when they were little was a piece of cake. When their young their life is an open book. They tell you when something scared them, made them mad or happy. It's when they become teenagers and they learn to shut all those doors right in your face. That's when you have to get smarter. To keep your growing children out of harms way you need to get them to open up and that's not easy. Somewhere between toddler and teenager you become the enemy. Teens take it out on you for all their problems. If you think about it you are the one thing they can depend on. If you give boundaries, guidelines, curfews and what you will tolerate and firmly WON'T tolerate you teen will come to trust you. You must above all be approachable. By this I mean a teen needs to know that whatever they tell you, you will not bite their heads off (at least till their finished). They need to know that you will listen with an open mind and then discuss what is troubling them. Their worries and problems should never be belittled because to them no matter how trivial it may seem to you is big business to them. Always try putting yourself in their shoes. For the teen that sits at the dinner table stone faced ( I didn't say stoned, that's another post) you need to put together his or hers favorite dinner. Set the tone of the table conversation. Begin talking about your own day or something you may have heard and pause here and there. You are waiting for the teen to take the bait. This usually works as little by little something will spark and your teen will begin to speak. Do not, I repeat do not jump on this right away. Nod your head in agreement and do not make eye contact. They are testing the waters. If you act half way interested they will start talking, and some of the things that come out of their mouth may shock you because you had no idea of what issues they have been dealing with. Problems at school, friends and teachers, things you really needed to know about. No wonder so many teens are in trouble when parents have no idea of what their son or daughter is struggling with. Just remember to listen and always know that parenting is not a weekend or week day job. It is a 24/7 job and is not for the weak hearted. Your children will test your limits and beyond but stay fast and this will be the best job you have ever took on.....parenthood. Till next time may your gathering be fruitful....Aunt Onie

Making your house a home

In this day and age with all the stress, worry and fear it's no wonder US family life has suffered so greatly. Statistics show that the family unit has broken down and in some cases doesn't work at all. The days that parents relied on their parents to show them how to raise a family are over. People seem out of touch with their family, too busy, too over worked or just too tired to even try. Some don't even have the bare essentials of coping techniques that our grandparents invented. So that is why I started this blog... in hopes of shedding the tiniest bit of light of what it could mean to improve you family's life. Raising two son's myself with my husband, I felt I was just getting good at parenting when they finished college and started their careers and their own family. Looking at them now I feel my husband and I must have done something right. I have always had a kitchen full of children, family and friends and yes I got them there with food. Good, hot comfort food (the kind you can smell down the street kind of food). I've also been known to keep my recipes a secret much to the anger of many of my sisters. Keeping your cooking secrets to yourself can achieve two things. One they have to keep coming back to your house to get more and two people always want what they can't have, so my recipes are always kept in high honor. I was raised by our mother when our father passed away at 49 and she raised us all with pride, respect and humor. Humor was what got us through many a rough spot. Humor will serve your family well if you keep it in your home. We are all human, flaws and all and as parents we make mistakes. But if we love our children and put their needs before our own, laugh with them, talk with them and share meals with them they will never disappoint us. Your time spent with your children will be the most rewarding investment you will ever make. A child needs smeone who will listen, really listen to them. So this is the official kick off to my blog. I hope in the coming pages I can give you a little insight to set the atmosphere for your family to enjoy the small and simple things you can do to make a house a home. I will be sharing my well kept secrets to cooking, laundry, house cleaning, romantic dinners, and special night family fun. My next blog will be about talking to your teenagers, when to talk and when to shut up and listen. Till then may your home be filled with laughter, good smells and family......Aunt Onie